I was dropping Ecstasy at the Burning Man Festival, and I ran into some Activist Judges

What the fuck is an "Activist Judge?" I've been before more than a few judges in my life and I've never run into one I could describe as an Activist. No Judge has ever come to the bench in a tye-dye robe and sentenced me to 3 bong hits. When I had my license taken away the Judge didn't helpfully suggest that I should listen to some Zappa albums or read an Abbie Hoffman book.

Since you are unlikely to meet any member of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals at a Bob Weir concert, what does the President Bush mean by that? Apparently an "activist judge" in Bushese is "a judge who doesn't hate faggots." Here is the president's official statement:

The sacred institution of marriage should not be redefined by a few activist judges. Obviously hot, steamy, and near-insatiable man lust is contagious to church-going christians. Traditional Missionary-style Procreation-based intercourse is the only defense from the superior fasion and interior decorating talents of the homosexual community. All Americans have a right to be heard in this debate(except fags). I called on the Congress to pass, and to send to the states for ratification, an amendment to our Constitution defining and protecting marriage as a union of a man and a woman, not two moustached oily queers who met at a bar called "the Manhole".

However I will give the president full credit on his commitment to not reinstate the Dred Scott decision. Way to sock it to those Activist Judges of the 1850's!