I Second that Emotion. (Aka "I got Your Back")
In the last article you read Brian's theory that just because Bush says he's a Christian, don't mean you gotta believe it. Well, believe it. (Brian's theory, that is.) I mean, of COURSE Bush says he's a Christian; if he were running for office in Iraq he'd be praising Allah like a motherfucker.
I mean, how can someone who makes millions of dollars from fossil fuels say that "the jury's still out" on evolution? How can someone be Pro-Life, Pro-Guns, AND Pro-Death Penalty? It seems unpossible. I mean, I'm not a scholar like Bible Bushy, but I can't remember anyone giving Jesus a nickname like the "Texecutioner". Jesus and God were all like, "thou shall not kill", "thou shall not steal", "thou shall not systematically fuck a country and appoint yourself king."
I'm pretty sure that was in there, right around the book of Noah.
And is it any coincidence that he switched (read: flip-flopped) from one white bread/mayonnaise version of Christianity to another, until he found the one with the most voters?
And by the way, those of you saying, "I'm voting for Bush because he's a Christian!" I have a couple of words for you: I'm not positive, but last time I checked, CATHOLICISM WAS ALSO A PART OF CHRISTIANITY. JOHN KERRY = A CHRISTIAN. AT LEAST HAVE A REASONABLE ARGUMENT, YOU DICK-SNIFFING FUCK-HOLES!!!!!!
Ahem. Pardon me.
Bush tries. He works so hard (it's hard work!). He says things are going well in Iraq even though they are so obviously not. He says he created a bunch of jobs when we all know they don't exist. He says he's all about education, and then he failed to fund his education programs, and isn't exactly the poster child for an educated gentleman. But people believe him. They eat that shit up. Hell, four years ago he said he was President and look what happened. Everybody up and agreed with him.
I can't wait until that President Kerry gets elected. I'm going to sign up for all the government-subsidied abortions I can get my liberal, nonbeliever hands on. Yeeeeeeeee Haaaawwwwwww!!!!
I mean, how can someone who makes millions of dollars from fossil fuels say that "the jury's still out" on evolution? How can someone be Pro-Life, Pro-Guns, AND Pro-Death Penalty? It seems unpossible. I mean, I'm not a scholar like Bible Bushy, but I can't remember anyone giving Jesus a nickname like the "Texecutioner". Jesus and God were all like, "thou shall not kill", "thou shall not steal", "thou shall not systematically fuck a country and appoint yourself king."
I'm pretty sure that was in there, right around the book of Noah.
And is it any coincidence that he switched (read: flip-flopped) from one white bread/mayonnaise version of Christianity to another, until he found the one with the most voters?
And by the way, those of you saying, "I'm voting for Bush because he's a Christian!" I have a couple of words for you: I'm not positive, but last time I checked, CATHOLICISM WAS ALSO A PART OF CHRISTIANITY. JOHN KERRY = A CHRISTIAN. AT LEAST HAVE A REASONABLE ARGUMENT, YOU DICK-SNIFFING FUCK-HOLES!!!!!!
Ahem. Pardon me.
Bush tries. He works so hard (it's hard work!). He says things are going well in Iraq even though they are so obviously not. He says he created a bunch of jobs when we all know they don't exist. He says he's all about education, and then he failed to fund his education programs, and isn't exactly the poster child for an educated gentleman. But people believe him. They eat that shit up. Hell, four years ago he said he was President and look what happened. Everybody up and agreed with him.
I can't wait until that President Kerry gets elected. I'm going to sign up for all the government-subsidied abortions I can get my liberal, nonbeliever hands on. Yeeeeeeeee Haaaawwwwwww!!!!
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