I'm undermining the War? Fuck That Noise! The War is undermining me.
I'm tired of hearing that my criticism of the War on Whatever in Iraq is somehow "undermining the efforts of our fighting men and women." Considering that our fighting men and women have 300 billion dollars worth of M16's, Tanks, and Aircraft Carriers as well as a patented kung-fu grip, if my blog is enough to undermine their efforts, then they are in a lot of trouble. Those motherfuckers need to start worrying about al-Sadr and Al-Zarqawi and Al Roker before they move on to getting all bent out of shape about me.
Another thing that is odd about this war is that its existence justifies its existence. Since it is happening, it must continue to happen. If I were to make any suggestions, such as "don't execute wounded prisoners" or "don't allow terrorists to cart away 380 tons of explosives," I would become the bad guy. Strangely enough, no one who's actually in charge of the war is ever accused of undermining the war. Oops, you showed falsified evidence to the UN? No big deal. You failed to find any Weapons of Mass Destruction or an Al Qaeda link? That's cool. You didn't bring in enough soldiers to prevent insurgents from taking hold of dozens of cities? Hey, shit happens. Fuck that! Compared to the incompetent assholes in the Pentagon and State Department, I'm overmining the war effort.
And that's the flip side. For all I'm not doing to effect the war, the war is having an extremely detrimental effect on me. I'm a Bullshit Detective, so this war has forced me to stay up 'til three AM reading the BBC website, researching what is and isn't bullshit. I haven't slept for more than 4 hours in a row since Sept 10, 2001. I've gained 15 pounds and my hair is going prematurely gray. I have nightmares that Alberto Gonzales is torturing me in some urine-soaked dungeon in Cuba. I can't even talk to my dad or half of the other people in the country without getting into a screaming match.
I figure that, over the last two years, I've contributed a few thousand dollars in tax money to this nonsense. I don't like looking at pictures of kids with their arms and legs blown off. I don't want to think I paid for the black hood and handcuffs in Lynndie England's "thumbs up" photo. I don't need that kind of drama. For better or worse, I'm basically a shareholder in this war, and my investment is going down the shitpipe. When the IRS can promise me that my specific tax dollars will go to curing leukemia, I promise I'll stop bitching about the war. Until then, no way.
Another thing that is odd about this war is that its existence justifies its existence. Since it is happening, it must continue to happen. If I were to make any suggestions, such as "don't execute wounded prisoners" or "don't allow terrorists to cart away 380 tons of explosives," I would become the bad guy. Strangely enough, no one who's actually in charge of the war is ever accused of undermining the war. Oops, you showed falsified evidence to the UN? No big deal. You failed to find any Weapons of Mass Destruction or an Al Qaeda link? That's cool. You didn't bring in enough soldiers to prevent insurgents from taking hold of dozens of cities? Hey, shit happens. Fuck that! Compared to the incompetent assholes in the Pentagon and State Department, I'm overmining the war effort.
And that's the flip side. For all I'm not doing to effect the war, the war is having an extremely detrimental effect on me. I'm a Bullshit Detective, so this war has forced me to stay up 'til three AM reading the BBC website, researching what is and isn't bullshit. I haven't slept for more than 4 hours in a row since Sept 10, 2001. I've gained 15 pounds and my hair is going prematurely gray. I have nightmares that Alberto Gonzales is torturing me in some urine-soaked dungeon in Cuba. I can't even talk to my dad or half of the other people in the country without getting into a screaming match.
I figure that, over the last two years, I've contributed a few thousand dollars in tax money to this nonsense. I don't like looking at pictures of kids with their arms and legs blown off. I don't want to think I paid for the black hood and handcuffs in Lynndie England's "thumbs up" photo. I don't need that kind of drama. For better or worse, I'm basically a shareholder in this war, and my investment is going down the shitpipe. When the IRS can promise me that my specific tax dollars will go to curing leukemia, I promise I'll stop bitching about the war. Until then, no way.
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