Maybe the Romans had the right idea.

If there is one thing the election on tuesday has taught us, it is that we need to stop playing nice with these ultra religious right wing lunatics. We need to stop taking them at their word. I'm no biblical scholar, but if anything these people are less christian in their actions than I am. Now it's pretty clear to me that neoconservatives are immune to "reason" and "facts" but I know they do have an Achillies heel: Fucking lions!


Sen. Sam Brownback(R-KS) and Sen. Rick Santorum(R-PA)

Both of the senators pictured above claim to be servants of the Lord. Senator Brownback is a harsh critic of profanity and sex in the media. Brownback has written several letter to Viacom in an attempt to force Howard Stern off the air. Brownback is also one of the most vocal opponents of embryonic stem cell research in Congress. Senator Santorum on the other hand, famously equated homosexuality with poligamy, child molestation and beastiality!

SANTORUM: If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to [gay] consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold--Griswold was the contraceptive case--and abortion. And now we're just extending it out.

SANTORUM: "Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality. . . [interrupted]

Maybe these men really are Christ's chosen messangers, how the fuck would I know? Luckily there is a sure fire way to find out: Cast them into a den of lions overnight. If they are alive in the morning: Shazam! They serve God. From the book of Daniel 6:16-22:

¹⁶ Then the king commanded, and they brought Daniel, and cast him into the den of lions. Now the king spake and said unto Daniel, Thy God whom thou servest continually, he will deliver thee. ¹⁷ And a stone was brought, and laid upon the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet, and with the signet of his lords; that the purpose might not be changed concerning Daniel. ¹⁸ Then the king went to his palace, and passed the night fasting: neither were instruments of musick brought before him: and his sleep went from him. ¹⁹ Then the king arose very early in the morning, and went in haste unto the den of lions. ²⁰ And when he came to the den, he cried with a lamentable voice unto Daniel: and the king spake and said to Daniel, O Daniel, servant of the living God, is thy God, whom thou servest continually, able to deliver thee from the lions? ²¹ Then said Daniel unto the king, O king, live for ever. ²² My God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths, that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king, have I done no hurt.

Too extreme? I don't think so. I'm not advocating throwing all Christians to the lions(at least not publicly). I think we should save it for the moral crusaders who preach their brand of Christian extremist ethics to the rest of us. When these Senators prove themselves to be lionproof, I will start listening to what they have to say about morality and values, not before.