Bumper Sticker Supports, Exploits Troops.

An anonymous reader pointed out this article about a country singer's clever campaign to get airplay in Middle America. The singer, Chely Wright, wrote a song called "The Bumper of My SUV," which "tells how she was driving down West End Avenue in Nashville in her SUV when someone saw her bumper sticker supporting the troops and made an obscene gesture."

In an effort to promote the (almost certainly) unlistenable song, members of Chely's fan club pretended to be either the family members of forces serving in Iraq, or the soldiers themselves. With their new ultra-awesome freedom-defending credentials in place, the crack team of professional douchebags sent out a torrent of emails, and called radio stations with fabricated sob stories.

An Example:

I heard that Bumper Sticker on my SUV song. Well, let me tell you it stopped me in my tracks! My husband is over in Iraq right now and he is a Marine. Half way through the song my tears were flowing. I brought a sense of pride and a longing for him to come home. The words were so true. How lucky are we! We drive safe on our streets and no one wants war but this is their job.

I hope you can play this again so more people can hear and during this holiday season when we are missing our loved ones it gives us a sense of pride that someone gets why they are away and are doing what they are doing.

Thank you, Thank Chely Wright and Gold Bless this great nation of ours!

Sally Craig

So inspirational! If only it were true. But I'm sure the men and women who are being perforated on a daily basis by rockets and IEDs, won't mind being exploited to sell a few extra copies of a trite faux-patriotic turd of a record.

It's safe to say that I support the troops more than any asshole who just puts a bumper sticker on his car, and listens to some crap song that was written in four minutes by an opportunistic cunt desperate to launch a career. That's pretty sad; I barely support the troops at all.

These are the kind of stories that made me aspire to be the world's foremost bullshit detective. It's like the perfect storm of patriotism, stupidity and hypocrisy. The layers of irony are thicker than Delta Burke's thighs. Chely's tacky oil chugging Monster Truck is doing more to keep the troops in Iraq than any other factor. Her transportation choices seem to "support" the troops staying in Iraq until the oil wells dry up. And the lyrics of the song lecture a woman for flipping her SUV the middle finger, because that is an act of anti-troops treason. How does she know that the woman flipped her the bird over her "US Marines" sticker? Perhaps Chely thinks the sticker is supposed to make her immune to any criticism from other motorists? Can you give a lecture about supporting the troops, while running a scam that exploits them? If the last presidential election is any indication, the answer is "Fuck Yeah!"