Study Finds Abstinence-Based Education Misleading. Also: Grass Found to be Green
The Washington Post ran an article illustrating how the majority of the popular Abstinence Education courses in the country are full of "unproved claims, subjective conclusions or outright falsehoods". You don't say? I'll go one step further than those motherfuckers and say that ALL Abstinence-based Sex Ed. is misleading. Anyone who has ever had sex can tell you that having sex beats not having sex hands down, every time. Abstinence should be avoided at all costs. As much as I'd like to avoid it, I've had an abstinence-based curriculum pursuing me for several months now. I haven't found it educating, to say the least. Personally, I can't wait for my blowjob-based curriculum to begin.
If your kids are in a bullshit Abstinence Only program, it's time to move them to a new school, or in extreme cases, to get some new kids and start over. However, I will admit that the article was informative. I had figured that a Sexual Education program that doesn't talk about sex, wouldn't need to artificially increase its BS ratio, but I figured wrong.
Touching another person's genitals "can result in pregnancy?" That's the funniest thing I've read in weeks; At least they have a sense of humor. And technically, that's true, as long as you are touching them internally, with your dong. Call me an optimist, but I'm not so sure that all of these distortions are malicious and intentional. I believe that the 80 year old white assholes that write this shit are approximately as ill-informed about sex as the 10 year olds they are attempting to educate.
I think back now, to the Sexual Education courses I had in 5th, 6th and 7th grade. The class was called "Health," but there was nothing healthy about it, it was all sex all the time. They couldn't find a real teacher to teach this class; instead we got the large sweaty slob who coached the Lacrosse and Wrestling teams. Our classes mostly consisted of watching grainy videos of people with huge afros, who would debunk the prevalent sexual myths of the day. For instance, I learned that a "boner" isn't actually a bone, per se. At the time, I wasn't too excited about the class, but I have to give them credit for presenting me with mostly factual information. Compared to the kids taking these abstinence only classes, I was Alfred Fucking Kinsey. When I actually managed to get laid 6 years later, I was smart enough not to put my dick in her ear or anything. I used a condom and managed to avoid AIDS, depression, suicide, et al. Another plus: not one of the billions of "thinking persons" who live in my balls are currently child support recipients.
Parents, if you really want to teach your children about sex I highly recommend the Eddie Murphy videos "Delirious" and "Raw". I learned more about sex from Eddie than I learned from actually having sex. For instance, according to Mr. Murphy, the problem with adolescents engaging in sexual intercourse is not the result of a lack of education. Rather, it is that "they ain't got no dick control!" Murphy furthermore suggests, that young people can't make "the fuck faces, cool motherfuckin' faces .... they only make one face, 'cause they surprised they fuckin'!"
If your kids are in a bullshit Abstinence Only program, it's time to move them to a new school, or in extreme cases, to get some new kids and start over. However, I will admit that the article was informative. I had figured that a Sexual Education program that doesn't talk about sex, wouldn't need to artificially increase its BS ratio, but I figured wrong.
Many American youngsters participating in federally funded abstinence-only programs have been taught over the past three years that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus, and that touching a person's genitals "can result in pregnancy," a congressional staff analysis has found.
....
Among the misconceptions cited by Waxman's investigators:
- A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person."
- HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, can be spread via sweat and tears.
- Condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse.
Touching another person's genitals "can result in pregnancy?" That's the funniest thing I've read in weeks; At least they have a sense of humor. And technically, that's true, as long as you are touching them internally, with your dong. Call me an optimist, but I'm not so sure that all of these distortions are malicious and intentional. I believe that the 80 year old white assholes that write this shit are approximately as ill-informed about sex as the 10 year olds they are attempting to educate.
I think back now, to the Sexual Education courses I had in 5th, 6th and 7th grade. The class was called "Health," but there was nothing healthy about it, it was all sex all the time. They couldn't find a real teacher to teach this class; instead we got the large sweaty slob who coached the Lacrosse and Wrestling teams. Our classes mostly consisted of watching grainy videos of people with huge afros, who would debunk the prevalent sexual myths of the day. For instance, I learned that a "boner" isn't actually a bone, per se. At the time, I wasn't too excited about the class, but I have to give them credit for presenting me with mostly factual information. Compared to the kids taking these abstinence only classes, I was Alfred Fucking Kinsey. When I actually managed to get laid 6 years later, I was smart enough not to put my dick in her ear or anything. I used a condom and managed to avoid AIDS, depression, suicide, et al. Another plus: not one of the billions of "thinking persons" who live in my balls are currently child support recipients.
Parents, if you really want to teach your children about sex I highly recommend the Eddie Murphy videos "Delirious" and "Raw". I learned more about sex from Eddie than I learned from actually having sex. For instance, according to Mr. Murphy, the problem with adolescents engaging in sexual intercourse is not the result of a lack of education. Rather, it is that "they ain't got no dick control!" Murphy furthermore suggests, that young people can't make "the fuck faces, cool motherfuckin' faces .... they only make one face, 'cause they surprised they fuckin'!"
2 Comments:
I assume it's Republican's who are all into abstinence. I'm not stereotyping but it sounds like something they'd be into if I had to play the odds. Anyway, that's awesome how people don't want their kids to have sex but they do want them to go to Iraq. Sex is deadly but Iraq is awesome! I think it's great. Iraq must be a fun wonderland because everybody wants to go their and kick ass, but sex is horrible and ought to be avoided at any cost. That's awesome. Sex is worse than murder. Amen to that. I'd say "fuck that shit" but you can't fuck anything. Not even "that shit."
so if people are having in sex in iraq, what the heck does that mean? do i support or not support the troops at that point? damn, these new rules are confusing.
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