Study Finds Abstinence-Based Education Misleading. Also: Grass Found to be Green

The Washington Post ran an article illustrating how the majority of the popular Abstinence Education courses in the country are full of "unproved claims, subjective conclusions or outright falsehoods". You don't say? I'll go one step further than those motherfuckers and say that ALL Abstinence-based Sex Ed. is misleading. Anyone who has ever had sex can tell you that having sex beats not having sex hands down, every time. Abstinence should be avoided at all costs. As much as I'd like to avoid it, I've had an abstinence-based curriculum pursuing me for several months now. I haven't found it educating, to say the least. Personally, I can't wait for my blowjob-based curriculum to begin.

If your kids are in a bullshit Abstinence Only program, it's time to move them to a new school, or in extreme cases, to get some new kids and start over. However, I will admit that the article was informative. I had figured that a Sexual Education program that doesn't talk about sex, wouldn't need to artificially increase its BS ratio, but I figured wrong.

Many American youngsters participating in federally funded abstinence-only programs have been taught over the past three years that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus, and that touching a person's genitals "can result in pregnancy," a congressional staff analysis has found.

....

Among the misconceptions cited by Waxman's investigators:

• A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person."
• HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, can be spread via sweat and tears.
• Condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse.

Touching another person's genitals "can result in pregnancy?" That's the funniest thing I've read in weeks; At least they have a sense of humor. And technically, that's true, as long as you are touching them internally, with your dong. Call me an optimist, but I'm not so sure that all of these distortions are malicious and intentional. I believe that the 80 year old white assholes that write this shit are approximately as ill-informed about sex as the 10 year olds they are attempting to educate.

I think back now, to the Sexual Education courses I had in 5th, 6th and 7th grade. The class was called "Health," but there was nothing healthy about it, it was all sex all the time. They couldn't find a real teacher to teach this class; instead we got the large sweaty slob who coached the Lacrosse and Wrestling teams. Our classes mostly consisted of watching grainy videos of people with huge afros, who would debunk the prevalent sexual myths of the day. For instance, I learned that a "boner" isn't actually a bone, per se. At the time, I wasn't too excited about the class, but I have to give them credit for presenting me with mostly factual information. Compared to the kids taking these abstinence only classes, I was Alfred Fucking Kinsey. When I actually managed to get laid 6 years later, I was smart enough not to put my dick in her ear or anything. I used a condom and managed to avoid AIDS, depression, suicide, et al. Another plus: not one of the billions of "thinking persons" who live in my balls are currently child support recipients.

Parents, if you really want to teach your children about sex I highly recommend the Eddie Murphy videos "Delirious" and "Raw". I learned more about sex from Eddie than I learned from actually having sex. For instance, according to Mr. Murphy, the problem with adolescents engaging in sexual intercourse is not the result of a lack of education. Rather, it is that "they ain't got no dick control!" Murphy furthermore suggests, that young people can't make "the fuck faces, cool motherfuckin' faces .... they only make one face, 'cause they surprised they fuckin'!"

BS Beware!

The server changes I mentioned in this post happened over the Thanksgiving weekend. The site was down for about four days and I've had some problems posting since the site came back. So, unfortunately, there hasn't been much new material here this week. But don't worry constant readers, my updates are working now and there are several new articles ready to "drop" soon. We haven't forgotten how to fight bullshit, we've only just begun. Bring it!

This Guardian article Israeli stupid!

I came across an article in The Guardian on some recent atrocities committed against the Palestinian people, by the Israeli Army. The Article lists three recent incidents of thuggish behavior, and goes over the response of the people of Israel to each one.

In the first, some Israeli soldiers found a frightened 13 year old girl wandering around in a combat zone. One soldier was recorded on tape saying: "A girl of about 10, she's behind the embankment, scared to death." Another soldier responded by shooting the young girl twice, killing her. Finally, a member of the unit emptied his machine gun clip into her corpse. The Unit Leader radioed a response: "This is commander. Anything that's mobile, that moves in the zone, even if it's a three-year-old, needs to be killed. Over."

Well, that's pretty fucked up! Executing a 13 year old girl carrying some schoolbooks, as if she were Sonny Corleone, seems like it should be a PR nightmare, right? That must be the worst thing the Israelis did this month! Well... not exactly. In fact, the race for Best War Crime is really heating up this year.

In another scandal, Israel soldiers took pictures of themselves desecrating the bodies of dead Palestinians. According to one article these pictures included "a soldier posing next to a bomber's blackened head with a cigarette dangling from its mouth, a soldier with his boot on the chest of a dead Palestinian and his gun pointed at the corpse's head and a dead Palestinian's body draped over the hood of a jeep."

Ew, gross. As bad as all of that sounds, according to some Jews, the worst thing the Israelis did this month was force a Palestinian to play violin at an Army Checkpoint! That's right! Somehow violins are worse than violence. Apparently this is especially bad, because the Nazis forced Jewish Musicians to play sad music at WWII-era death camps.

But after the incident was videotaped by Jewish women peace activists, it prompted revulsion among Israelis not normally perturbed about the treatment of Arabs.

The rightwing Army Radio commentator Uri Orbach found the incident disturbingly reminiscent of Jewish musicians forced to provide background music to mass murder. "What about Majdanek?" he asked, referring to the Nazi extermination camp.

Of course! How could I be so stupid. It's only a crime if it's a carbon copy of something that happened during the Holocaust. I wonder if it would have made a difference if the little girl those soldiers murdered was named Anne Al-Frank. Do I really need us to draw a diagram to explain how Israel has gone 180 degrees from abused to abuser? And before any assholes email me and say "BUT THEY ARE JUST DEFENDING THEMSELVES FROM BAD GUYZ!!!" Save it. I'm certainly not in support of Palestinian terror tactics either. Being against Palestinian terrorism is common sense. But If I speak against Israeli terrorism, I suddenly become an anti-Semite and a Nazi. That's bullshit.

The critics were not drawing a parallel between an Israeli roadblock and a Nazi camp. Their concern was that Jewish suffering had been diminished by the humiliation of Mr Tayem.

Yoram Kaniuk, author of a book about a Jewish violinist forced to play for a concentration camp commander, wrote in Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper that the soldiers responsible should be put on trial "not for abusing Arabs but for disgracing the Holocaust".

In this man's view abusing Arabs isn't a crime, fuck, it's not even a misdemeanor. Harming actual human beings isn't an obstruction to morality. The only crime possible under Israeli law is upstaging the memory of some sixty year old horror story. Apparently the only way to draw attention to the plight of Palestine is by refusing to feed the Martyr Complex of people like Yoram Kaniuk. Apparently the only thing preventing people like him from advocating the construction of Gas Chambers in the Golan Heights, is the fear that by doing so, global sympathy for the horrors of Auschwitz will somehow diminish.