Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Alberto Gonzales: Hispanic is My Panic Now

Today all 8 Democrats on the Senate Judiciary committee voted not to confirm Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General. Unfortunately for all the not yet tortured people on the planet, Democrats are the Minority Party, so it doesn't really matter how they vote. In a way, it's nice that the Republicans even bother to ask their opinion anymore.

One thing I've learned as a Registered Democrat- through the last 5 congressional elections -is that it really sucks to be a minority. Now I'm really starting to identify with other minorities. All of a sudden Public Enemy lyrics are starting to make a lot of sense to me. Yes my brethren,"Got to give us what we want/Gotta give us what we need/Our freedom of speech is freedom or death/We got to fight the powers that be," I concur wholeheartedly with that sentiment. I third that emotion! My heroes "don't appear on no stamps" either.

Condoleeza Rice is set to become the first black woman to ever be named Secretary of State. Gonzales will be the first Hispanic Attorney General. As an ultra liberal tree hugging hippie I'm supposed to be happy about this kind of thing, right? Wrong. There is nothing more racist than supporting some incompetent motherfucker just because of their race. (Ok , there are a few things more racist, like blasting peaceful protestors with fire hoses and whatnot, but I digress). Martin Luther King spoke of judging people on the content of their character. Gonzales wrote legal briefings that paved the way for torture in Abu Ghraib and Afghanistan. You maybe familiar with some of his work. Below is his master piece, his Mona Lisa; If you will:


Condoleeza Rice had a large part in planning the war in Iraq. It was her job to sell it to the country and world. Condi freaked out about the threat from Saddam Hussein stating, "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." Current evidence suggests that Saddam was more likely to acquire a mushroom cut, than a mushroom cloud. Futhermore current evidence suggests that past evidence was doctored to make it appear more sinister than present evidence, and that Condi was a part of the cover up.


The last thing I want to do is appear racist, but I can't give these two douchebags a pass. The Senate voted 85-13 in favor of confirming Condoleeza. Alberto Gonzales faces stiffer opposition, but is expected to slide through easily since Republican Senators are quite fond of naked human pyramids. But what happens when that sweaty brown man pile decides it wants equal marriage rights?

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