The Iraq Elections Will Magically Melt Evil Hearts

Why is it every time some motherfuckers get killed in Iraq the news media shits out headlines like these:

• Mosque Bomb Kills 14 Ahead of Election
• As Iraq Election Nears, Violence Increases
• Can Iraqis fight bombs with ballots?
• Iraq vote nears; 5 bombs kill 27
• Baghdad Car Bombs Kill at Least 26 as Election Nears
• Bombs rock Baghdad in run-up to election

I think it's a bit irresponsible for the Media to frame the election as the season finale of Terrorism. I hate to break it to the dumb motherfuckers of the world, but there will be violence in Iraq AFTER the elections too. Hold off on booking a two week vacation at Iraq's Club Med on January 31st. In fact I think the safe money is on Iraq still being all fucked up on January 32nd, 33rd and 34th.

While some of these bombings are specifically targeting election workers, I doubt that is the only motive. It seems to me terrorists enjoy blowing shit up. They do it on a pretty regular basis, and they appear to be very good at it. Despite the fact that their 401k plan is a lot shittier than mine, they still manage to blow up to work every day. In the last two weeks I've had a bit of the old writers block. I've been pissed off about a lot of things, but I lacked the energy and words to crank out an article about it. Terrorist don't seem to have this problem, unfortunately there's no such thing as Terror Block.

I'm sick of hearing about the "run-up to the election." the only thing that appear to be running up are medical bills and body bag orders. Fuck the fake-ass elections. Here's what White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has to say about them:

"You've heard directly from our military commanders that there are still a few areas -- well four of the 18 provinces, I guess -- where there are still ongoing security challenges, where the terrorists and Saddam loyalists are continuing to carry out violent acts,"

Four out of 18 provinces? Sweet! What McClellan fails to mention is that those 4 provinces include the city of Baghdad and about 44% of the country's population. And whichever way the election goes, there's still gonna be motherfuckers in beige camouflage with M16s walking around shooting shit up and telling folks to move along. I wonder if January 30th will be celebrated in Iraq the way we celebrate the fourth of July here in America. A roman candle and some sparklers would seem redundant in the face of all the other shit exploding on a daily basis.