A Chronology of the Ass Blowing Bureaucracy of the DMV
I know. It's lame to complain about the DMV. We've all experienced the general lack of service, care, and imagination it suffers. But the past eight weeks for me has been a journey so wrought with pain, abuse, and suffocating red tape that it should be required reading for anyone considering becoming a licensed driver. Don't let The Coreys fool you: a License to Drive isn't the thrill ride it appears to be.
Let's start at the beginning.
Fall 2002. I leave the Mercury lounge in NYC on a cold rainy night and drive for about a block when I get pulled over. I had intended to fasten my seatbelt at the first red light, but before I could get that far I was stopped by a police officer and ticketed. Okay. My fault. It's bullshit, but it's my fault. Officer Crabgash asks for my registration and insurance, which I give him. But in the dark I handed him an old insurance card. He could have simply remarked "Ma'am you're insurance is expired." I would have winced at the "Ma'am" part, then quickly handed him the correct, NOT expired card that was also in my glove compartment. Instead he writes me an extra ticket for expired insurance. When I inform him he has made a mistake he replies, "Too late. Already wrote the ticket." When he did not burst into flames, I knew the Jedi Mind Trick was not altogether infallible. Fucking George Lucas!
Then he says I can mail in the ticket with a copy of proof of insurance and it will all go away. I drove away and did as the nice officer instructed and never heard from the NY DMV about the ticket again. Problem solved. Right?
Let's skip ahead.
Summer 2004: I get an amazing once-in-a-lifetime shot to tool around on tour with David Bowie and The Polyphonic Spree for ten days. Pretty fucking rad, right? I was excited. So excited, in fact, that as I am driving on the Upper West Side of Manhattan I forget to stop at one little old crosswalk-stop sign, right in front of Officer McParkedNearby. Shit!
He is all set to let me off with a warning, due to my "Oops! I have blonde hair, which makes me stupid..teehee!" routine, which by the way, usually works. But he calls in my license and informs me that I have a suspended license.
What???
So instead I get another ticket for driving without a license and am urged to clear this up with both New York and Connecticut (where my license was issued) ASAFP. So I spend the next few days trying to get a human being on the phone just to find out HOW to even go about paying a ticket I no longer have a copy of. After 20-odd hours of automated voice menus and busy signals I shitcan the entire thing, vow never to drive again and throw my phone at a hotel concierge (in front of Russell Crowe who watched admiringly. Sorry, dude).
This single decision will later cost me over a thousand dollars, eight weeks of my life, 300 hours on the telephone (200 of those on "Hold"), buckets of tears, the wrath of my parents, and the will to live.
Summer 2005: I move to Seattle, Washington, and attempt to get a new license. Here's my logic: none of the DMVs so far have even installed a fax machine; surely their records can't be connected between states. Maybe they won't find out my license is suspended in Connecticut, and I can put this whole mess behind me.
Get it? 'Cause that's the punchline.
After filling out forms and passing the eye test, my Seattle DMV employee looks suspiciously at a printed paper in front of her. She eyeballs me, surveys up and down and then avoids eye contact as she asks for the $20 fee required for me to take my written test. I hand over the cash and THE INSTANT it leaves my hand, she looks back at the paper as if she is a news anchor and someone just handed this to her on air. "This just in: it appears your license is suspended in CT and NY. We won't be able to give you the driver's test. Oh, and also I can't refund the money you JUST gave me, because you neglected to inform me that you had a suspended license."
Me: "I didn't know it was suspended."
Her: "Too bad. So sad. Your Dad." (I'm paraphrasing)
This time the Jedi Mind Trick did work. Only apparently I was willing her to be a cruel-ass fuckstain. Lucas!!
By this time, I am also negotiating the purchase of a new car to be picked up during an upcoming two-week trip to Texas. My parents are helping me pick it up, so now they are also involved. I love them, but sometimes dealing with the DMV is almost more fun. The point is, I have a very limited time in which to resolve the no-license having issue. So I spend another half day on the phone until finally someone at the Albany office of the New York DMV picks up the plastic ringing-thingy on his desk that has been disturbing his nap.
I tell him my predicament and he informs me that I can contest the first no insurance ticket, which will take 3 months to resolve. Or I can pay the fines and try to get the money back later. This will enable me to at least get a driver's license in the meantime. He also says there is no record of the second ticket, which I am relieved about, and set about paying off all the fines.
Ticket: $380
Misdemeanor charge: $500 (apparently no insurance is a criminal offense as well as traffic violation)
Fee to the State of Connecticut for reinstating my license: $125
Sucking the giant hairy dick of the Department of Motor Vehicles: Priceless.
So now all that's left is to send the receipts from New York to Connecticut, letting them know that my tickets are paid and I am ready to have a license again. New York sends a letter to this effect to my New York apartment. I am in Seattle. Luckily my former roommate opens my mail, so he was able to forward it to Connecticut for me.
I wait 5 days and begin the calls to the CT office to see if it has been cleared. I only have 2 weeks to get my Washington license before leaving to pick up my car in Texas. Each day, license is still not cleared and "people" at the CT DMV ask me to call back later. Finally, my former roommate calls me again and says I have received a letter from CT informing me that the paperwork I sent them was insufficient.
I receive a letter from New York stating my license is cleared of all restrictions and send THIS to Connecticut, sure that it will suffice. How wrong am I? Dead wrong. After another week of waiting for CT to process this, I finally get someone on the phone to tell me that this is also insufficient. What they need are actual receipts with ticket numbers on them.
Now I'm on a plane to Texas. I no longer have the choice of resolving this issue in Washington. I'll have to resolve while I'm in Texas, get a Texas license, then drive back to Washington and get a Washington license. Awesome.
So I'm back on the phone with the New York DMV trying to get the correct paperwork. For the first two days I am never able to get through to a human. I spend 15 minutes listening and maneuvering the automated phone system only to then be put through to a message that informs me: "We're sorry. There is no one to take your call at this time. Please call again later." Click.
WTF?!!!
Finally I call a DIFFERENT office and speak to something with DNA. Possibly ape DNA, but still, no longer dealing with an angry phone robot. He can't find the ticket numbers I am referring to. As it turns out, the SECOND insurance ticket (which we thought maybe didn't exist after all) DID actually exist, only under a different spelling of my name, So $340 later he promises to send over the paperwork so that I may then overnight it to Connecticut (who won't take a fax) for processing.
Two days later, paperwork still hasn't arrived, so I call again. This time I speak to the same person who remembers me. He's like the Jesus of the DMV. He promises to fax my paperwork immediately and I verify the fax number with him. Twice.
Five minutes later my cell phone starts ringing. When I answer, I hear the soothing tones of a fax machine on the other end of the line. Steve is attempting to fax my cell phone, not my fax. So I call back and ask to speak to him. A woman informs me that "Steve just left the office for the day."
Are you fucking kidding me?
But the woman can clearly see the fax not going through and sends the paperwork. Finally. I am on my way to victory with the reinforced knowledge of never sending a man to do a woman's job (i.e. "anything"). Sorry, Steve. Maybe you aren't really DMV Jesus after all.
I overnight the paperwork to Connecticut. I call back every single day. Each time they almost refuse to even check and see if my license is cleared, because, as they explain to me impatiently, "these things take 7 to 10 business days to process." Still, I ask them to go ahead and make my 45 minute cell phone call worth the $150 in roaming fees I'll be paying for it worth something and they check, and infuriatingly enough, they are correct.
Until Monday. I called first thing in the morning and got the same rigmarole about 7 to 10 business days. Then for shits and giggles I call back in the afternoon. It's done. My license has been cleared in all states! Thank you, imaginary DMV Jesus!!!
I rush to the Texas DMV with the proper paperwork which I have spent the past few days obtaining (due to my think-ahead-to-the-next-inevitable-uphill-battle strategy of trying to beat them at their own game). I wait in line for over an hour, in which time I am able to rummage through an empty desk, find a DMV handbook, take the practice test in the book twice, and make friends with a few of the other flourescently-lit victims in line.
Finally, I am about four people from the front of the line. One of the two clerks on duty stands up to announce "It is now 4:20. We will no longer be giving any written tests." Aside from the oddly (coincidental?) timing of DMV shutdowns and nationwide marijuana smoke breaks, this news is not hilarious at all. But I remain in line, determined to get one thing accomplished. I make it to the counter, fill in the necessary forms, take the eye test, get fingerprinted, pay the $24 fee, and get my receipt to come back for the written test.
TODAY: I arrive at the opening of the DMV. Apparently, I was a minute later than everyone else in the county as there is already a full parking lot and a 30-person line. I whip out my handy receipt, though, and am able to skip past those poor assholes directly to the testing booth for my 15-minute unsupervised test which could have EASILY been done on the previous day. Whatever, I'm in and out and back at the front of the line, where I am told that in the past 15 minutes, all available driving test slots have been filled. Officer WasteMyTime recommends I return tomorrow at 7am in order to stand in line some more in hopes of getting a spot tomorrow.
Assuming I pass the test, I should have a license by tomorrow, just in time for my trip back to Seattle the following day.
If I don't have a license tomorrow, expect Franky to post a link to these headlines: "Denton woman kills entire population of Texas in biggest case of non-vehicular road rage ever seen."
"New levels of Hell created for entire Department of Motor Vehicles."
"Hell rejects DMV employees; AFRAID."
"DMV ascends to heaven and pisses off angels"
"New Holy War begun, in which angels and devils fight together against bureaucrats."
Also: "EXTRA! No asshole stinky or dirty enough for the DMV's mother!"
As I wait in line tomorrow, pointlessly, I will pretend I am instead waiting in line for something good, like the premiere of a new Star Wars movie. But like one made by the good 1970's Lucas, not the craptacular shitfest-producing current Lucas that is trying to ruin my childhood with his special effects machines.
Fucking. George. Lucas.
Let's start at the beginning.
Fall 2002. I leave the Mercury lounge in NYC on a cold rainy night and drive for about a block when I get pulled over. I had intended to fasten my seatbelt at the first red light, but before I could get that far I was stopped by a police officer and ticketed. Okay. My fault. It's bullshit, but it's my fault. Officer Crabgash asks for my registration and insurance, which I give him. But in the dark I handed him an old insurance card. He could have simply remarked "Ma'am you're insurance is expired." I would have winced at the "Ma'am" part, then quickly handed him the correct, NOT expired card that was also in my glove compartment. Instead he writes me an extra ticket for expired insurance. When I inform him he has made a mistake he replies, "Too late. Already wrote the ticket." When he did not burst into flames, I knew the Jedi Mind Trick was not altogether infallible. Fucking George Lucas!
Then he says I can mail in the ticket with a copy of proof of insurance and it will all go away. I drove away and did as the nice officer instructed and never heard from the NY DMV about the ticket again. Problem solved. Right?
Let's skip ahead.
Summer 2004: I get an amazing once-in-a-lifetime shot to tool around on tour with David Bowie and The Polyphonic Spree for ten days. Pretty fucking rad, right? I was excited. So excited, in fact, that as I am driving on the Upper West Side of Manhattan I forget to stop at one little old crosswalk-stop sign, right in front of Officer McParkedNearby. Shit!
He is all set to let me off with a warning, due to my "Oops! I have blonde hair, which makes me stupid..teehee!" routine, which by the way, usually works. But he calls in my license and informs me that I have a suspended license.
What???
So instead I get another ticket for driving without a license and am urged to clear this up with both New York and Connecticut (where my license was issued) ASAFP. So I spend the next few days trying to get a human being on the phone just to find out HOW to even go about paying a ticket I no longer have a copy of. After 20-odd hours of automated voice menus and busy signals I shitcan the entire thing, vow never to drive again and throw my phone at a hotel concierge (in front of Russell Crowe who watched admiringly. Sorry, dude).
This single decision will later cost me over a thousand dollars, eight weeks of my life, 300 hours on the telephone (200 of those on "Hold"), buckets of tears, the wrath of my parents, and the will to live.
Summer 2005: I move to Seattle, Washington, and attempt to get a new license. Here's my logic: none of the DMVs so far have even installed a fax machine; surely their records can't be connected between states. Maybe they won't find out my license is suspended in Connecticut, and I can put this whole mess behind me.
Get it? 'Cause that's the punchline.
After filling out forms and passing the eye test, my Seattle DMV employee looks suspiciously at a printed paper in front of her. She eyeballs me, surveys up and down and then avoids eye contact as she asks for the $20 fee required for me to take my written test. I hand over the cash and THE INSTANT it leaves my hand, she looks back at the paper as if she is a news anchor and someone just handed this to her on air. "This just in: it appears your license is suspended in CT and NY. We won't be able to give you the driver's test. Oh, and also I can't refund the money you JUST gave me, because you neglected to inform me that you had a suspended license."
Me: "I didn't know it was suspended."
Her: "Too bad. So sad. Your Dad." (I'm paraphrasing)
This time the Jedi Mind Trick did work. Only apparently I was willing her to be a cruel-ass fuckstain. Lucas!!
By this time, I am also negotiating the purchase of a new car to be picked up during an upcoming two-week trip to Texas. My parents are helping me pick it up, so now they are also involved. I love them, but sometimes dealing with the DMV is almost more fun. The point is, I have a very limited time in which to resolve the no-license having issue. So I spend another half day on the phone until finally someone at the Albany office of the New York DMV picks up the plastic ringing-thingy on his desk that has been disturbing his nap.
I tell him my predicament and he informs me that I can contest the first no insurance ticket, which will take 3 months to resolve. Or I can pay the fines and try to get the money back later. This will enable me to at least get a driver's license in the meantime. He also says there is no record of the second ticket, which I am relieved about, and set about paying off all the fines.
Ticket: $380
Misdemeanor charge: $500 (apparently no insurance is a criminal offense as well as traffic violation)
Fee to the State of Connecticut for reinstating my license: $125
Sucking the giant hairy dick of the Department of Motor Vehicles: Priceless.
So now all that's left is to send the receipts from New York to Connecticut, letting them know that my tickets are paid and I am ready to have a license again. New York sends a letter to this effect to my New York apartment. I am in Seattle. Luckily my former roommate opens my mail, so he was able to forward it to Connecticut for me.
I wait 5 days and begin the calls to the CT office to see if it has been cleared. I only have 2 weeks to get my Washington license before leaving to pick up my car in Texas. Each day, license is still not cleared and "people" at the CT DMV ask me to call back later. Finally, my former roommate calls me again and says I have received a letter from CT informing me that the paperwork I sent them was insufficient.
I receive a letter from New York stating my license is cleared of all restrictions and send THIS to Connecticut, sure that it will suffice. How wrong am I? Dead wrong. After another week of waiting for CT to process this, I finally get someone on the phone to tell me that this is also insufficient. What they need are actual receipts with ticket numbers on them.
Now I'm on a plane to Texas. I no longer have the choice of resolving this issue in Washington. I'll have to resolve while I'm in Texas, get a Texas license, then drive back to Washington and get a Washington license. Awesome.
So I'm back on the phone with the New York DMV trying to get the correct paperwork. For the first two days I am never able to get through to a human. I spend 15 minutes listening and maneuvering the automated phone system only to then be put through to a message that informs me: "We're sorry. There is no one to take your call at this time. Please call again later." Click.
WTF?!!!
Finally I call a DIFFERENT office and speak to something with DNA. Possibly ape DNA, but still, no longer dealing with an angry phone robot. He can't find the ticket numbers I am referring to. As it turns out, the SECOND insurance ticket (which we thought maybe didn't exist after all) DID actually exist, only under a different spelling of my name, So $340 later he promises to send over the paperwork so that I may then overnight it to Connecticut (who won't take a fax) for processing.
Two days later, paperwork still hasn't arrived, so I call again. This time I speak to the same person who remembers me. He's like the Jesus of the DMV. He promises to fax my paperwork immediately and I verify the fax number with him. Twice.
Five minutes later my cell phone starts ringing. When I answer, I hear the soothing tones of a fax machine on the other end of the line. Steve is attempting to fax my cell phone, not my fax. So I call back and ask to speak to him. A woman informs me that "Steve just left the office for the day."
Are you fucking kidding me?
But the woman can clearly see the fax not going through and sends the paperwork. Finally. I am on my way to victory with the reinforced knowledge of never sending a man to do a woman's job (i.e. "anything"). Sorry, Steve. Maybe you aren't really DMV Jesus after all.
I overnight the paperwork to Connecticut. I call back every single day. Each time they almost refuse to even check and see if my license is cleared, because, as they explain to me impatiently, "these things take 7 to 10 business days to process." Still, I ask them to go ahead and make my 45 minute cell phone call worth the $150 in roaming fees I'll be paying for it worth something and they check, and infuriatingly enough, they are correct.
Until Monday. I called first thing in the morning and got the same rigmarole about 7 to 10 business days. Then for shits and giggles I call back in the afternoon. It's done. My license has been cleared in all states! Thank you, imaginary DMV Jesus!!!
I rush to the Texas DMV with the proper paperwork which I have spent the past few days obtaining (due to my think-ahead-to-the-next-inevitable-uphill-battle strategy of trying to beat them at their own game). I wait in line for over an hour, in which time I am able to rummage through an empty desk, find a DMV handbook, take the practice test in the book twice, and make friends with a few of the other flourescently-lit victims in line.
Finally, I am about four people from the front of the line. One of the two clerks on duty stands up to announce "It is now 4:20. We will no longer be giving any written tests." Aside from the oddly (coincidental?) timing of DMV shutdowns and nationwide marijuana smoke breaks, this news is not hilarious at all. But I remain in line, determined to get one thing accomplished. I make it to the counter, fill in the necessary forms, take the eye test, get fingerprinted, pay the $24 fee, and get my receipt to come back for the written test.
TODAY: I arrive at the opening of the DMV. Apparently, I was a minute later than everyone else in the county as there is already a full parking lot and a 30-person line. I whip out my handy receipt, though, and am able to skip past those poor assholes directly to the testing booth for my 15-minute unsupervised test which could have EASILY been done on the previous day. Whatever, I'm in and out and back at the front of the line, where I am told that in the past 15 minutes, all available driving test slots have been filled. Officer WasteMyTime recommends I return tomorrow at 7am in order to stand in line some more in hopes of getting a spot tomorrow.
Assuming I pass the test, I should have a license by tomorrow, just in time for my trip back to Seattle the following day.
If I don't have a license tomorrow, expect Franky to post a link to these headlines: "Denton woman kills entire population of Texas in biggest case of non-vehicular road rage ever seen."
"New levels of Hell created for entire Department of Motor Vehicles."
"Hell rejects DMV employees; AFRAID."
"DMV ascends to heaven and pisses off angels"
"New Holy War begun, in which angels and devils fight together against bureaucrats."
Also: "EXTRA! No asshole stinky or dirty enough for the DMV's mother!"
As I wait in line tomorrow, pointlessly, I will pretend I am instead waiting in line for something good, like the premiere of a new Star Wars movie. But like one made by the good 1970's Lucas, not the craptacular shitfest-producing current Lucas that is trying to ruin my childhood with his special effects machines.
Fucking. George. Lucas.
posted by kittenpants at 5:44 PM
8 Comments:
I'm crying out of frustration and it didn't even happen to me.
Maybe I'll visit Pants soon to give you a soothing there-there.
I’m so thankful to you for your story. I laughed my ass off reading it. Do you know why? Your story is very close to mine. Well, my story is in a very beginning stage, so reading your story prepared me for future troubles. I cried last two days after a came back from DMV because they told me that my license is suspended and I can’t drive anymore.
Here is what happed.
I lived in NY state in 2000-2003 and had no single ticket during that time. I moved to New Hampshire. I got license and lived happy there until I moved to Massachusetts and at the beginning of 2006 went to get my Mass drivers license.
There I was told that my license in New York was suspended in January of 2005 and I can’t get license until I will clear it up.
My questions were how come I have license in New Hampshire for the last couple of years and nobody told me there that my license is suspended. I never been in New York since I moved from there in 2003, but suspension was in January of 2005. Nobody in Mass could tell me what it is about, but suggested to all NYS DMV. I called immediately, but of course nobody could take my call.
I’m single bread maker in my family; support paralyzed mother and teenager daughter. I have to drive to make living. DMV hit me in a head two days ago saying, “Nop, no more driving for you, no more income, no more living” So, your story made me laugh today, so hard that I forgot about my stupid situation.
I don’t know exactly what is going on in NY, but I searched Web for a while and only what I can think why my license suspended is that car that I had in NYS was with me in New Hampshire. It was totaled in car accident and was taken away by insurance company, but number plates stayed on a car.
As far as I could understand from my search DMV will charge me $8 for every day of license plate was not returned to them. It comes up to $3.5K as car was taken away in 2004.
Here where I’m standing. I will walk to the Commuter train which is 5 miles away from my home and will start calling around NY to get some understanding what it is all about.
After your story, I’m ready for the long fight. By the way, when I was sitting in a long line to Hearing Officer in Mass DMV, I heard a lot of similar stories, but all of them were sad not like yours. Thank you.
I will add more as it goes.
So what you're pissed about is you broke the law. Not once, not twice, but three times. The third being when you violated the Federal Information Act (part of the Patriot Act) when you supplied false information to obtain identification. You knew when you went to Seattle that your license was suspended in CT and NY but you admittedly hoped they wouldn't know and applied for the WA license anyway (count one), then you lied to the licensing agent when you stated you didn't know that CT and NY had suspended your driving privledges (count two).
You're a criminal. You started small with innocent enough problems (insurance card & stop sign) but with your lies you escalated it to a Federal offense. You you are a liar on top of it all as well. You must make Mommy and Daddy so proud.
Oh my God! A federal offense! Let's lock her up in Guantanamo, and then shoot Guantanamo into space, just to be safe.
I don't know if you've ever been to a DMV, it can be a real drag, but you certainly seem to enjoy submitting to authority. Lucky for you this administration will be more than happy to instruct you. Go watch "Fox and Friends," have a coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up.
Thanks for participating!
i know exactly how you feel. i dont have to do as much stuff as you had to but the stress is all the same. I am from Illinois and i moved to north carolina three years ago. I took drivers ed when I was 15 and I waited 5 months to take the behind the wheel test. When i took it i passed within three days and got a drivers eligibility certificate about a week later. So my mother and i went to the dmv to get my drivers permit and my social security card did not match my birth certificate due to the name change about 7 years ago. Although the social security numbers matched, the names didn't so they wouldn't take it. After several months of getting my stuff straight my father and I went to the dmv for the second time. We arrived at 4:40and waited 10 minutes and they said 'no tests after 4:45'. I was also pissed that day. So about a week later we made a third attempt to get my drivers permit. We arrived at 4:20 and waited a half hour. My dad kept telling them I need to take the test for my permit and they basically ignored them. They called us up and this really old guy who looked like he was about to kill over and minute took his sweet time typing in my information and the dmv closes at 5:00. Then he tells me i have 10 minutes to take the test and i have to get 20 right out of 25 questions and I'm like no problem, kind of like the SAT. So in about three minutes I answered 10 questions correctly and the whole system shuts down. I told christopher columbus' 1st grade teacher that the whole system shut down and he tells me 'well come back tommorrow', and I was like I thought you said I had 10 minutes and it hasnt been three, and the old ass wipe says 'oh well'. Then I went to the dmv the fourth time and I finally took the permit test but I failed. I was thinking maybe I haven't studied hard or good enough. I read the whole drivers handbook several times from front to back and back to front and I went to take the test today. Unfortunately, I failed the test again. I thought about it and I noticed that the answers I got wrong were not even in the drivers handbook. I answered those questions with what I thought would be the best answer and the most dumbest answer was the correct ones. The questions I didn't know the answer to and never encountered before i skiped them and moved on to the other questions i was familiar with. But by the time i was on my 17th questoion that shitty machine went back to the questions I skipped and i couldn't skip it again so i got all of them wrong. Then the lady told me to study the book, that was what really pissed me off. I told her i studied the whole fuckin book several times and the questions i got wrong were not in the book (i looked) how the fuck do I study what's NOT in the handbook THEY gave me. She says well come back next time. If it were up to me I'd never move to fucking north carolina and deal with their bullshit laws. If I stayed in Illinois I would've had my license a long time ago. Now I'm almost 17 years old with not even a damn permit. Any helpful solutions (keyword helpful) would be great. Oh and you who posted that federal and criminal shit, do us all a favor and go run with scissors in traffic. thanks!
i know exactly how you feel. i dont have to do as much stuff as you had to but the stress is all the same. I am from Illinois and i moved to north carolina three years ago. I took drivers ed when I was 15 and I waited 5 months to take the behind the wheel test. When i took it i passed within three days and got a drivers eligibility certificate about a week later. So my mother and i went to the dmv to get my drivers permit and my social security card did not match my birth certificate due to the name change about 7 years ago. Although the social security numbers matched, the names didn't so they wouldn't take it. After several months of getting my stuff straight my father and I went to the dmv for the second time. We arrived at 4:40and waited 10 minutes and they said 'no tests after 4:45'. I was also pissed that day. So about a week later we made a third attempt to get my drivers permit. We arrived at 4:20 and waited a half hour. My dad kept telling them I need to take the test for my permit and they basically ignored them. They called us up and this really old guy who looked like he was about to kill over and minute took his sweet time typing in my information and the dmv closes at 5:00. Then he tells me i have 10 minutes to take the test and i have to get 20 right out of 25 questions and I'm like no problem, kind of like the SAT. So in about three minutes I answered 10 questions correctly and the whole system shuts down. I told christopher columbus' 1st grade teacher that the whole system shut down and he tells me 'well come back tommorrow', and I was like I thought you said I had 10 minutes and it hasnt been three, and the old ass wipe says 'oh well'. Then I went to the dmv the fourth time and I finally took the permit test but I failed. I was thinking maybe I haven't studied hard or good enough. I read the whole drivers handbook several times from front to back and back to front and I went to take the test today. Unfortunately, I failed the test again. I thought about it and I noticed that the answers I got wrong were not even in the drivers handbook. I answered those questions with what I thought would be the best answer and the most dumbest answer was the correct ones. The questions I didn't know the answer to and never encountered before i skiped them and moved on to the other questions i was familiar with. But by the time i was on my 17th questoion that shitty machine went back to the questions I skipped and i couldn't skip it again so i got all of them wrong. Then the lady told me to study the book, that was what really pissed me off. I told her i studied the whole fuckin book several times and the questions i got wrong were not in the book (i looked) how the fuck do I study what's NOT in the handbook THEY gave me. She says well come back next time. If it were up to me I'd never move to fucking north carolina and deal with their bullshit laws. If I stayed in Illinois I would've had my license a long time ago. Now I'm almost 17 years old with not even a damn permit. Any helpful solutions (keyword helpful) would be great. Oh and you who posted that federal and criminal shit, do us all a favor and go run with scissors in traffic. thanks!
i failed my permit test today.
no trouble with the DMV but
i feel like i'm so stupid.
today was the second time i failed my permit test, by one questoin, noone but me and the lady she knew it was the second time by one question and wouldn't just slip it in it was a bullshit question that i argued and was clearly right on even the handbook says i was, my parents said they didnt even take a permit test my grandfather never took any tests for his CDL (truckers licence) now i have to have 3 forms of id ss # and 50 other bullshit things whats wrong with this picture i want to just cruise the streets on my dads harley and make a rucus, maybe worlds longest police chace?
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