Everyone Is Accountable For Their Own Actions, Now Get Back Safe

Here's a song I wrote for my band, The Hypertonics:

*A Letter To The Troops* (Lord)

You volunteered your life and now you've got no choice
You're doing what you're told, you've got a year out with the boys
Your wife is all alone and she's suffering for you
You took your time away and now it's bad enough for two
So with two people hurting and it's still nobody's gain
She needs a volunteer to come and take away her pain
So I'm a-doin' my part while you're risking your life
You're in Iraq and I'm in your wife.

You and me have lots in common and there's a lot to list
While you are there to serve our country, I'm a-serving her breakfast
A moral hex has been left bared in all the things you do
The oral sex that she has shared is wrong, but so are you
Sometimes when we're alone, sometimes she cries your name
But then we hold each other and I love her just the same
So I am just like you while you're risking your life
You're in Iraq and I'm in your wife.

Everyone says they're the victim
Everyone does what they're told
Your leaders say to do some killing
But your God has told you "No".
Everyone just follows orders
All excuses we have heard
But do they teach you in the army
about the place called Nuremberg?

Maybe this is wrong and maybe it's unfair
But she's been feeling better since the time you aren't there
Maybe it's all wrong and maybe we're all sinning
But that's okay because you say that all of us are winning
Now I want peace, and you'd want peace, your wife wants her piece too.
A piece of me is what she wants since she's not having you.
And so you're taking orders when you are taking life
You're in Iraq and I'm in your wife.

All Good In The Victimhood (Volume 48)

Yesterday was a bad day for The Troops. 33 of them got to die as a reward for keeping America Free/keeping Iraq free/keeping somebody free. They were on a mission and I guess they were either successful or they failed. At some point in time they were doing something somewhere to keep somebody free. Nobody's sure anymore what's considered success and what's considered failure but we digress...

Anyway, a bad day for the Americans (33 dead) is a pretty good day for Iraqis. According to iraqbodycount.org (awesome punk band from the '90s, didn't know they move camp over to Iraq) there have been a mimimum of 15495 civilian casualities in the news since the beginning of the war. So even Ice Cube could agree that it's a good day when only 33 people die. (Back in the 90's the criteria for what was a good day was set to a higher standard but let's face it: Iraq is even more dangerous than South Central.) Not only was it news but it was front page news. Iraqis yearn for the day when only 33 of theyselves die. Everybody's sense of what is newsworthy is different it seems.

I think it's awesome when people get all sad about the toll taken on The Troops in the war. "Deadliest Day Yet" and "Superbowl Of Deadly Days" and "33 Soldiers Die In Iraq (200,000 Asians Die In Tsumani)". We get so choked up about it.

The problem is it's very difficult to play the victim card here. Between tsumani victims, Iraqi civilians, commuters in Los Angeles, and late night talk show hosts, you've got a real log jam of victims there in both quality and quantity. The troops may have to wait for a really bad day before they get to be the top story...

Victimhood is a slippery slope. To paraphrase somebody, I can't define victimhood but I know it when I see it. Shit happens when you're out of your element and kicking ass in someone else's back yard ie: the suburbs of Baghdad. If you're quietly resting in your mother's womb and somebody rips you out of there before you're finished with your afternoon nap, you get to be a victim. If you're wearing camoflage and bringing democracy to a people via killing all voting-age males in that country, you don't get to be a victim. Sorry y'all.

PS: Mad respect to Franky Pelvis for successfully fighting back the latest round of Bullshit in the news. If Bullshit was a human pyramid, Franky would be right on top of it. Cheerleaders form human pyramids, prisoners do too. Franky's the top hat on a debonair batch of bullshit:

Alberto Gonzales: Hispanic is My Panic Now

Today all 8 Democrats on the Senate Judiciary committee voted not to confirm Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General. Unfortunately for all the not yet tortured people on the planet, Democrats are the Minority Party, so it doesn't really matter how they vote. In a way, it's nice that the Republicans even bother to ask their opinion anymore.

One thing I've learned as a Registered Democrat- through the last 5 congressional elections -is that it really sucks to be a minority. Now I'm really starting to identify with other minorities. All of a sudden Public Enemy lyrics are starting to make a lot of sense to me. Yes my brethren,"Got to give us what we want/Gotta give us what we need/Our freedom of speech is freedom or death/We got to fight the powers that be," I concur wholeheartedly with that sentiment. I third that emotion! My heroes "don't appear on no stamps" either.

Condoleeza Rice is set to become the first black woman to ever be named Secretary of State. Gonzales will be the first Hispanic Attorney General. As an ultra liberal tree hugging hippie I'm supposed to be happy about this kind of thing, right? Wrong. There is nothing more racist than supporting some incompetent motherfucker just because of their race. (Ok , there are a few things more racist, like blasting peaceful protestors with fire hoses and whatnot, but I digress). Martin Luther King spoke of judging people on the content of their character. Gonzales wrote legal briefings that paved the way for torture in Abu Ghraib and Afghanistan. You maybe familiar with some of his work. Below is his master piece, his Mona Lisa; If you will:


Condoleeza Rice had a large part in planning the war in Iraq. It was her job to sell it to the country and world. Condi freaked out about the threat from Saddam Hussein stating, "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." Current evidence suggests that Saddam was more likely to acquire a mushroom cut, than a mushroom cloud. Futhermore current evidence suggests that past evidence was doctored to make it appear more sinister than present evidence, and that Condi was a part of the cover up.


The last thing I want to do is appear racist, but I can't give these two douchebags a pass. The Senate voted 85-13 in favor of confirming Condoleeza. Alberto Gonzales faces stiffer opposition, but is expected to slide through easily since Republican Senators are quite fond of naked human pyramids. But what happens when that sweaty brown man pile decides it wants equal marriage rights?