Retired People Can't Get Enough of Hot Gay Kisses!
Every time I think that I've climbed to the absolute apex of Mt. Bullshit, some Republican asshole raises the peak a few thousand feet. Recently a group called USA Next has been using the following Ad on right wing websites:
My first reaction to this was "Wait... What the Fuck... Hmm, That's... What the Fuck?" I thought the ad was going to lead to an Onion article or something. As it turns out, it's a dead serious promotion from the same ad geniuses who brought us the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth."
Obviously my five-level color coded bullshit detection indicator moved to code red as soon as I saw this. Since when has the American Association of Retired Persons been for drawing green check marks on two dudes kissing, or drawing red Xs on US Soldiers? In fact, the only thing I've ever seen a retired person put an X on is the "Triple Letter Score" box on a Scrabble board. I have never known a retired person to say any variation of "I love those homosexual gay homos, but I sure do hate the US Army Soldiers!" Obviously I was curious to find what evidence USA Next had to support this shocking revelation. Unfortunately USA Next feels no need to explain either claim. I read through dozens of poorly written articles on their website, and not one featured an AARP spokesman comments on either the Military, or Gay Marriage.
USA Next's real reason for existing is to attack the AARP's for their opposition to Bush's planned overhaul of Social Security. I don't know that much about Social Security, I'll readily admit my only reason for opposition to George Bush's plan is that I know he'll fuck it up, just like every other fucking thing he touches. I can't say for sure that private accounts won't have a greater Return on Investment than whatever the hell system we use now. I do know that if the Professor on Gilligan's Island were to build a coconut radio, I wouldn't want Gilligan to attempt to fix it. Since the strongest argument these asshats can make in favor of Bush's plan is "Retired People Like Faggots...and they uh... Hate the Troops," I'm gonna err on the side of caution, and stick with the current method.
I found it interesting that USA Next did link to an incoherent Bill O'Reilly rant accusing the AARP of being "left wing," again without any actual evidence.
My first reaction to this was "Wait... What the Fuck... Hmm, That's... What the Fuck?" I thought the ad was going to lead to an Onion article or something. As it turns out, it's a dead serious promotion from the same ad geniuses who brought us the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth."
Obviously my five-level color coded bullshit detection indicator moved to code red as soon as I saw this. Since when has the American Association of Retired Persons been for drawing green check marks on two dudes kissing, or drawing red Xs on US Soldiers? In fact, the only thing I've ever seen a retired person put an X on is the "Triple Letter Score" box on a Scrabble board. I have never known a retired person to say any variation of "I love those homosexual gay homos, but I sure do hate the US Army Soldiers!" Obviously I was curious to find what evidence USA Next had to support this shocking revelation. Unfortunately USA Next feels no need to explain either claim. I read through dozens of poorly written articles on their website, and not one featured an AARP spokesman comments on either the Military, or Gay Marriage.
USA Next's real reason for existing is to attack the AARP's for their opposition to Bush's planned overhaul of Social Security. I don't know that much about Social Security, I'll readily admit my only reason for opposition to George Bush's plan is that I know he'll fuck it up, just like every other fucking thing he touches. I can't say for sure that private accounts won't have a greater Return on Investment than whatever the hell system we use now. I do know that if the Professor on Gilligan's Island were to build a coconut radio, I wouldn't want Gilligan to attempt to fix it. Since the strongest argument these asshats can make in favor of Bush's plan is "Retired People Like Faggots...and they uh... Hate the Troops," I'm gonna err on the side of caution, and stick with the current method.
I found it interesting that USA Next did link to an incoherent Bill O'Reilly rant accusing the AARP of being "left wing," again without any actual evidence.
OREILLY: Well, what is it? Like 35 bucks a year or something like, they're going to lose a lot of members.I find it kind of ironic that O'Reilly is taking issue with the AARP's exorbitant 12.50 a year membership fees. The cheapest item on the O'Reilly Store, "The Spin Stops Here" baseball cap is $16.95. A Premium Membership to O'Reilly's site is 49.99 a year. Thanks for looking out for us, you hypocritical windbag.
SCANLON: Its $12.50. $12.50 a year.
OREILLY: $12.50 a year, so it's like they, they just want to sell you the stuff.
SCANLON: Thirty bucks for three years.
OREILLY: Right. They want to sell you their stuff. But, look, they're going to lose a lot of membership after this, and we did it on the radio today, too. exposition because they won't come on at all to explain, you know, how they started drifting left or where they are.
And I don't think the folks mind if AARP said, you know, we favor this, that and the other thing, but to try to hide it, which I really think they're trying to do, Mr. Scanlon I think they're trying to hide their left-wing agenda.
